I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
