I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
