Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
