there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
