is your mom at the bar?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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