Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
