Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
