eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
