There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
