guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
