nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
