I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
