Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
