thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
