This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
