wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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