South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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