one two three fourrrrnication!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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