True but thats because hes a fetus.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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