Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
