I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
BRING THE BAGELS
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
