It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
