just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
