summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
