I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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