your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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