You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
