lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
