I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
