i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
