this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
