So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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