I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Let's paint friendship bongs
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
