..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
