too bad you live with your parents still
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
