I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
