Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
