smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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