i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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