So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
