Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
