Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
