If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
did i just pee glitter
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
