I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
