so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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