Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
