I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
