i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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