it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
