In the future we'll all be gay
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
