I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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